Bad Touch Torment
by I'mInYourCarEdward
Summary: This a story that you, the reader will prompt the Bad Touch Trio to prank characters of your choosing and in your own way. PM me the chapter idea, we don't want spoilers. And it must be appropriate. Rated T as a warning. Subject to change.
1. Chapter 1

The Bad touch trio where sitting at France's kitchen table answering there fan mail. And boy did they have lot of it.

While leafing through the mail Prussia saw a certain Author's special signature.

"Yo, Spain look at this one! It has an AWESOME signature thingy. It's a smiley face thing with the kenji for 'Erika' on it. The smiley, It's almost as awesome as I am!"

"Erika is a Scandinavian girl's name why is it written in Japanese?" Spain asked.

"Oh hon hon hon~ is it for moi~?" asked France.

"no it's for all of us as the Bad touch trio." Prussia said.

Spain crossed the table keeping the huge mountain of letters in place.

"What does it say, amigo?"

"She wants us to accept a prank ing challenge. Her fans will tell her to tell us who to prank and what to do in the prank." said Prussia.

"Fusososo~ tell her we accept her challenge." Spain said sitting back down.

"Zis shall be an interesting challenge, non?" said France as he wrote back the reply in his elegant handwriting.

Prussia liked the envelope seal and in closed the letter.

As Spain put the letter in the mail Prussia laughed, "Kiesesesese, yes it will."

Spain ran back in smiling.

"I mailed it! We just need to wait for a response. Oh, the mailman's here!"

France looked outside and his fears came true.

"Non. Non, non, non!"

He ran outside.

Just as the mailman dropped a huge sack of mail next to the mailbox and grabbed the letter.

France fell to his knees and cried.

He thee his hands to the sky and yelled, "Why! We haven't finished yesterday's mail yet?"

You heard them PM me your ideas

〜（ゝ。∂）英里何


	2. Chapter 2

BTT chapter 2

This chapter is for InsanityAintOptional

And their brilliant idea.

I don't own hetalia or the idea

* * *

France was sobbing in the corner about the mail crisis. They now had to answer two mountains of mail.

They eventually just lit the fire place and threw every thing in.

With the mail gone Prussia and Spain (AWESOMELY!) got France to stop sobbing uncontrollably.

They returned to the kitchen to find one last letter untouched and clean. It defiantly lay there on the table. It's sight reduced France to sobs again.

Spain knelt to calm him down and Prussia opened the letter. "It's from her!" he said. "It says 'your first challenge is under way. There is no escape don't bother looking.' this isn't a prank this is something else!"

France looked up "What does she mean 'there's no escape.' I don't get it."

Spain nodded in agreement as he helped France up off the floor. "Ya, you can't escape sounds like we're about to be tortured or something."

Prussia looked at his friends "Well who cares I'm hungry, let's eat. France cook some thing." ordered Prussia.

"Oui, and it shall be delicious."

"It always is amigo." agreed the Spaniard.

"NON!" yelled France in terror. It was followed by a thud.

Prussia and Spain rushed in to the kitchen to check on their friend. They were shocked to see what had fallen was...

Scones.

The horror! The horror!

"And you have to eat all of them" said a voice behind them.

The turned in horror. They had to eat those! Those?

The girl looked 15 and was blonde but she looked Irish. She wore all black and had steel blue eyes. She looked at her playthings. This would be fun.

She wove her hand and a set table appeared from thin air. Like magic. But Britain's magic was a joke

"Who are you?" they asked in unison.

She laughed "I'm Canada. No I'm kidding! I'm 英里何 or Erika."

They looked at each other in horror. This was Erika this she devil?

Erika waved her hand again and british food appeared on the plates and chairs scooped up the trio and sat them at the table.

France and Spain were crying in horror and Prussia was to shocked to do anything but stare at the fish and chips in front of him.

"Now eat and you can be done."

Prussia looked repulsed but ate the food and the desert. He was allowed to leave the table. He promptly vomited in the trash bin by the door and collapsed. Prussia had had to eat British food before, he had had England as an Allie before.

Spain at first refused to eat his sworn enemy's food, but was forced to with the reward of barfing up the disgusting foodstuff.

Spain finished and almost missed the bin.

France downright refused to eat the food.

A voice came from the kitchen. A BRITISH voice. England was here! Worse, he cooked this meal! Prussia and Spain barfed again.

"How are you doing out there?" Britain asked.

They looked at Erika and saw that she was nibbling a scone happily. Happily! A scone!

"I'm good!" she called to the Brit.

"But France hasn't touched his food~!"

"This was a request! Eat my food you Frog!" he yelled.

Erika walked over to France and force fed him the meal with Britain's help.

He sobbed and vomited a lot afterwards. He cursed Britain's and Erika's names to the high heavens and then looked to see they and every thing strange was gone. Even the scones! It was like nothing happened the trio stayed over and slept at France's.

The first challenge was over.

* * *

Keep them coming these are great thx again

Review Plz

And pm ideas!

〜（ゝ。∂）英里何


	3. The water balloon task

My sister will be credited for this piece of work.

Hetalia isn't mine.

* * *

The trio woke up the next morning and ate breakfast. Nothing happened until they started brunch.

As France sipped his coffee Erika suddenly appeared on the table.

She looked at her 'friends' with mild amusement and an evil gleem in her eyes.

"My sister has a task for you. Your new task is to start a water balloon fight at the G8 meeting later today. Don't hit America, other people can but not you guys, for it will be a fate worse than death, and I need you guys."

"What happens if we hit him?" asked Spain.

"France, your face will be pummeled."

He Le Gasped.

"Prussia will be unawesomely beaten till he turns in to his east Prissian lands."

"I won't go back to Russia's place!" Prussia screamed.

"And Spain, your vocal chords shall be ripped out, and you shall be unable to speak to Romano." She finished solemnly.

"Eep!" shrieked Spain.

"Now go!" Erika ordered.

"Or be punished."

They ran out the door.

* * *

At the meeting.

"Okay! I think we should totally build a giant hero to fix the economy! HAHAHAHA!"

England slammed his hands on the table and shouted, "America you gi- ahhh!"

He screamed as a water balloon hit him in the face.

Prussia laughed at Britain.

Britain launched himself at Prussia.

As water balloons rained from the sky. France had spent all of the time before the meeting preparing for this moment. Spain jumped to action taking advantage of his closeness to America and Britain to grab the Brit's umbrella and shield America from the falling balloons.

"We have done it! Erika hear us? We have done it!" shouted Prussia to the sky.

Everyone continued to throw the surviving water balloons at each other.

A voice roared above the din. Obviously enraged. It was a girl's voice with an American accent.

"How dare you hit America!" the voice screamed.

The Bad Touch Trio paled.

Prussia looked at Spain.

"You we're so posed to protect him!" he bellowed.

"I tried but I wasn't fast enough!" he shouted desperately.

Erika was at the door. She was panicked!

Uh oh.

"France what did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Your device made a balloon hit America! Your doomed!" she shouted sadly.

Another girl appeared she had brown hair and looked more Lithuanian and wore a graphic tee and jeans. She had the same steel blue eyes as Erika.

But she was pissed.

She grabbed France and beat him while insulting him with british terms, they sounded strange with her American accent.

Erika face palmed. "That is my sister, Deanna. We are twins."

Spain looked at her, "You don't loo-"

"We're fraternal!"

Deanna left in a hurry. She looked back,"and don't hit America again!"

Erika wiped every ones memories and cleaned the scene. She bid the trio good bye and left. Britain finished his insult and the meeting ended.

The trio went home and awaited the next call of duty.

(snort) 'doody'

* * *

The task is done my sister loves the story and she wanted to be in the story

Do she is

Pm ideas and review.


	4. More torture

BTT4

Thanks to InsanityAintOptional again for the idea

But this isn't a prank it's torture

* * *

The trio were again at France's house tendering to France's wounds.

His face woul heal rather quickly. He was a nation, but there was now alot of graffiti somewhere in Paris.

His face had just finished healing but was still raw and red when Erika appeared sitting on the kitchen table swinging her legs back and forth. She was smiling evilly again.

Never a good sign.

"What is it this time?" complained Prussia.

"My friend and cohort had another idea!" she said with glee. "She wants to torture you. That's not what this is about but I also enjoy torture."

She waved her hand and the trio were strapped to chairs and In front of a tv...

With the subtitles on.

They all had their eyes taped open and had headphones on.

Erika smiled evilly. "May the torture begin!"

The music started and the tvs turned on.

It was horrible!

They were watching Teletubies and listening to the Rebecca Black and it wouldn't stop! The torture I wouldn't force on any one ever. Prussia was withering in place. Screaming and crying (Awesomely!). France was crying with his eyes open. And Spain

well he was exclaiming about how cute the characters were. They were then forced to watch Dora and her insufferable monkey for 3 days straight! While listening to Justin Beiber. France and Prussia were screaming and begging for mercy.

Spain spoke back to Dora every episode and laughed at the cute and small characters. How dare he enjoy himself!

Finally they had to watch...

The spawn of the devil...

Barney and Friends...

"Hey, kids!"

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

"The kids are so KAWWIiiii~!"

Prussia couldn't take it any more he busted from the bonds and clawed at the walls as soon as he touched them he was in a room with a huge tv...

Playing Care Bears and MLP: friendship is magic his tortured screams were heard until it stopped. It all stopped as the last episode of Barney ended. They were back at France's and no time had past. At all.

The duo curled up in the corner and cried themselves to sleep.

I say duo because Spain was disappointed because all of the children were gone.

* * *

So that back fired

Love it?

Hate it?

Review!

〜（ゝ。∂）英里何


	5. To Dress a drag

Btt 5

I wish I owned hetalia but I don't

Thank my partners in crime Deanna and InsanityAintOptional

Together we are the torture trio!

* * *

Own faithful trio lay traumatized in the corner. Prussia and France we're traumatized Spain was just sitting with them oblivious to the trama.

After all he enjoys children.

A distinct puff noise was heard in front of France. The all looked up. And groaned. It was Erika. Again.

She smiled snapped her fingers and the memories of the torture session were gone.

The trio looked up with renewed vigor.

"What this time?" asked Prussia crossing his arms.

"Me, Deanna, and Insanity, my partners in awesome, have decided on your new task." Erika said as Deanna and a new person appeared.

Erika indicated the new person. "This is Insanity she is the torturer of the group. Deanna beats the shit out of you if you misbehave and or fail."

"I can't wait for you to fail/misbehave." said Deanna.

"I might just misbehave right now~!" France said. Deanna punched him.

"And I write this all down for the world to see!" she said joyously.

"We want you to put Austria in a dress and mail him some one, any one!" said Insanity Ina slightly insane voice.

Prussia laughed at the idea. "Austria in a DRESS! We'll do it!" exclaimed the Prussian man.

France and Spain were also laughing.

France was clutching his gut in hysterics.

"This will be awesome!"they all said.

"Okay, okay! Who has a dress?" asked Prussia.

"I do!" said Spain and France.

"Okay who has an embarrassing dress!"

"Me!" said Spain. "It's a tango dress. It was Mexico's!"

"Hey is she still in AA?" asked France.

"No. She said it was for quitters."

"But that's the point!"

"I know."

Spain pulled a short cocktail dress out it was short and frilly.

"To my car of awesome!" declared Prussia as they filed into his custom car. It had a a Prussian eagle embalm as a hood ornament and was black and white striped.

As the car revved up Prussia declared, "This is the power of German engineering!" and raced to Austria's house.

* * *

France rang the doorbell of Austria's house and waited for the old fashioned aristocrat to come out.

The aristocrat was in his usual blue coat and boot combo. "What is it France I was writing a new piec-!"

France put the chloroformed napkin in Austria's face and the nation passed out.

Spain supplied the dress, France put it on Austria. He didn't mind nudity after all. And Prussia slapped a peal and stick bow on the unconscious nation's forehead.

The trio laughed and high-fived.

Prussia grabbed the drugged nation and drove to their next destination.

* * *

Prussia knocked on the door and ran which ever nation opened the door it promised to be hilarious.

The door opened and Liechtenstein peered out.

Poor Liechtenstein.

"Aaaaahhhhh! Bruder! Come quick!" she called.

Switzerland was quickly on the scene with his his trusty knives and guns. He saw Austria and swore putting down the gun.

He looked at his sister. "What happened?" he asked.

"Some one knocked on the door and I answered, and Mr. Austria was like this." she explained.

Vash looked murderous. "When I find who did this..." he let the threat hang for suspense.

And the trio ran away to safety.

* * *

Lol Austria dressed a drag!

pm me ideas!

Love it?

Hate it?

Review!

〜（ゝ。∂）英里何


	6. Xmas summer carols

Btt6

I still own nothing!

Thank TheSapphireRainAlchemist for the idea!

* * *

When they got to Prussia's house they were still laughing. "His face? Did you see his face?"

"Si amigo! I did!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this but, that was the best thing in my life. Ever!" squealed France as he doubled over laughing.

"Hey guys!" said Erika as she appeared.

The trio groaned but were still laughing.

"A friend of mine wants you to prank call Hungary singing Chistmas carols!" she pitched happily to the trio.

They all abruptly stopped laughing.

They now looked as if she had told them to tell America that Prussia was a terrorist.

It had happened once on a drunk dare and Prussia had almost died.

Prussia stuttered, "What?" he squeaked.

"Prank call Hungary." she repeated.

"What?" the three asked her.

"I know you heard me! Prank call Hungary!" she said and disappeared.

Her face popped out of nowhere and added, "Or I tell Deanna to come and neuter you all." before finally she was gone.

The trio hugged Prussia and cried. He was the only one insane enough for the job and they'd always visit his grave.

The awesome Prussian picked up a phone and dialed a number he knew by heart.

The dial tone was heard. Then she picked up the phone.

"We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year! "

She hung up.

They used a different phone.

She picked up.

"Should Ald acquaintance be forgot and never come to mind!" he sang.

She hung up.

They called again!

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the wa-AAAAaaaaaaaaaHHHhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed as a frying pan flew out of the phone receiver into his face.

"Take that Prussia!" she yelled.

"Mien face! Mien awesome face!"

Prussia quickly decided he was never doing that again.

Erika watched while laughing hysterically on the table.

The trio looked.

Uh oh.

"Now what?" they groaned.

* * *

End of that chapter.

But I need new ideas!

Pm me ideas or Herr Schtick gets it!

Songs:

We wish you a merry Christmas; traditional

Ald Lang Syne/Old Man Time; traditional

Jingle bells; traditional

Love it?

Hate it?

Review!

〜（ゝ。∂）英里何


	7. Amore' letters

Btt7

Thank Ameriko-chan and InsanityAintOptional and I for the new idea.

The trio is back!

I still don't own hetalia

* * *

The trio sat in Prussia's room A.K.A. Germany's basement.

They were playing Mario Kart 2 and drinking beer.

They had invited the Confederacy, Beaufort Jones, 18 represents the south of America's nation. He liked beer, horses, and NASCAR, but he was busy with volunteer work.

Prussia was winning on rainbow road just as the Torture trio appeared and began to cheer them on.

Deanna screamed that if Prussia lost she'd punch him.

Insanity bribed Spain with global conquest and turtles. And Romano.

Erika shrugged. Why not? "Go France! Be sexy! Drive that cart!"

They all stopped and stared. Except France, he already knew he was Sexy. Why could no one see it?

"By the way we have a task for you."

Said Insanity.

The male trio groaned. They did that a lot as of late.

Every one was too occupied to realize it but Insanity had joined and was cruising though the level.

"Your task is to prank England!" Erika proclaimed.

"You must convince him that he has a secret admirer and set up a blind date with France." said Deanna.

"What!" exclaimed the trio.

"Go too work!" shouted Deanna.

The end game music played. Insanity whopped in Joy. She had won.

"Nooooooo!" shouted the Prussian.

He looked at the new trio and said "Fine. I always wanted to get Britain back for that cooking thing." he grumbled.

Insanity raised her hand "Oh! Oh! That one was my idea!"

She said jumping up and down.

The trio looked terrified.

"Get to it!" Ordered Deanna.

The trio grumbled but left.

Erika looked around the room.

"So... Who wants to play Mario Kart?" she asked.

"Turtles!" shouted Insanity.

* * *

France secretly slipped the 'love' note under the English man's door and ran.

France thew a rock at the door.

The English man answered it. He saw the note and knelt down to grab it. He read it out loud.

"To My Love, Arthur;

Roses are red, Violets are blue,

I looked at your face and knew our love is true."

Britain's face was all red and he had a distinct lack of pupils and irises.

He was disturbed to say the least. Even his people hated him.

He continued. Just like the trio knew he would. He was lonely and desperate for company.

"Meet me by Cleopatra's Needle at midnight."

* * *

The Brit closed the door he had a date to keep.

* * *

France nearly gagged at how cliché every thing was.

He quickly left for the Needle.

* * *

It was 11:45.

The personification of France stood there in the cold British air. Waiting.

He wanted to get this prank over with. He had women to harra- I mean woo.

11:59.

Britain had finally arrived at the Needle.

About time. England was freezing!

The Brit looked around looking for his admirer.

France nearly killed the joke here but continued. He stepped forward grabbed the brit's hands and clasped them like in Inuyasha.

He looked at the Brit. Who had the WTF face. And said.

"Arthur. My love. Will you bear my children?"

SLAP!

France now had a red slap mark in his face and a Brit screaming rape.

Oh, non.

Later

"So how was

* * *

prison?" asked Spain.

"Shut up!"

Woot finished hope you like it.

I don't like FrUK but still great chapter.

Love it?

Hate it?

Review!

〜（ゝ。∂）英里何


	8. Turtle attack

Btt8

Thank Tomboy15103 for the idea

* * *

It took 5 hours to get France out of prison and he was now a registered sex offender.

But he already was one so it didn't make much of a difference anyways.

The sat at Spain's villa out in the Spanish country side. He grew tomatoes there with Romano. But it was way too late for him. He was on siesta or he'd be swearing and screaming for Spain to save him.

They were playing poker with Beaufort or Beau the confederacy.

Spain was about too conquer the game with a full house as Beau had suddenly vanished.

And Insanity was sitting in his place. She was smiling.

Never a good sign but always there.

She tree down the cards and grabbed the chips screaming, "Turtles!"

Calming down slightly she looked around the room. "Oh I have a prank. You must harass Netherlands with turtles!"

She said.

Spain looked overjoyed. "Turtles!" he asked with a gleam in his eyes.

She nodded.

"Turtles!" cried Spain and Insanity together.

The others groaned.

* * *

Holland or Lars as he was sometimes called was having a rough week. He wreaked his car to save some baby turtles, fond a box turtle in his lunch pail, and found a North American snapping turtle in his bed, shower and surprisingly, his cereal.

It seemed the family in general wanted to live with him.

Belgium was coming over. Hopefully she wouldn't see any of the turtles that plagued his house.

He graciously welcomed Bela to his house. Making sure there was no turtles in sight.

They cooked dinner. No turtles.

They set the table. No turtles.

They sat. No turtles.

He was growing nervous. Where the hell were the turtles?

Then it happened.

As they served themselves a sea turtle fell from the over head light. It landed on the middle of the table.

Turtles came out of the bathroom like an army.

Through the windows, the doors, the fire place!

Turtles! Turtles! Turtles! TURTLES!

Lars screamed. He was then crying in the corner and mumbling about a turtle invasion.

Bela was utterly confused by the vast amounts of turtles in the room. They were every where and were so adorable.

The bad touch trio and Insanity were watching from a nearby window. Prussia was laughing with France and Insanity and Spain were talking about and petting turtles.

This prank was a success.

Turtles.

* * *

TURTLES ! Your probably tired of that word now. But whatever.

I hope I got Insanity right.

Love it?

Hate it?

Review!

〜（ゝ。∂）英里何


	9. America: the dark descent

Btt9

I don't own Hetalia.

* * *

The trio was still laughing like drunkards when they were teleported back to France's place.

Insanity was gone and the trio laughed themselves to sleep.

In the middle of the night Prussia (Awesomely!) got up, scratched himself, and went to the parlor with a bar of chocolate. He (unawesomely) couldn't sleep. His awesome brain refusing to shut down.

He heard something in the Frenchmen's kitchen and grabbed the nearest weapon, his chocolate bar.

Oh and one of Britain's scones.

He approached the kitchen like the world's awesomest ninja and made hand gestures to his fake comrades.

He turned the corner and threw the scone.

Oh wait that was his chocolate!

There was a loud crashing noise. This woke the rest of the BTT upstairs and they ran down the stairs tripping over themselves France landed face first with Spain landing not-so comfortably on France.

They rushed to Prussia as he turned on the lights and announced the scariest thing in the world.

"Show your self! I have British food!"

The culprit stood, revealing herself to be a fairly tall, platinum haired girl that looked like Russia. She mumbling something about 'this not being on the contract'. Whatever that meant.

The girl looked only slightly older than The rest to the Torture Trio and she sported a black shirt sporting the logo TT in big neon lettering. She wore a big tan trench coat that had a crowbar in one of it's disturbingly big pockets.

She dusted herself off still muttering, that is until she discovered our heroes (snort yeah right).

She began to Kol and the trio (Awesomely!) backed out of the room nervously.

"Hello comrades." She said approaching the frightened trio of grown men.

"Wh-who are you?" Asked France.

The girl covered her face with her left sleeve. "I am vodka, I am cheeseburger, I am...Aleksei!" She said dramatically.

"Why are you here Alexi?" Asked Spain. She KOLed at him as a creepy Russian aura surrounded her. "That is not my name, comrade., KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL."

The horror! The horror!

She continued. "I recently joined Team Torture via review and pm and now I am hear to give you your prank." She paused politely. "You must trick America into thinking his house is haunted. Just pretend to be ghosts."

The trio shrugged. "Fine." Responded France. Aleksei tutted. "You must bring Ameriko with you. You know her better as Deanna but now she has an account. She knows the house well."

Aleksei snapped her fingers. Or tried to. She eventually resorted to clapping her hands twice. The lights turned off but nothing else happened.

"Erika. A little help here." She called to no one. Presumably Erika, the evil tyrant that now seemed to rule the world, with that snappy finger thing. Erika appeared with Insanity and Ameriko-chan, the first two swinging their leg back and forth on the counters while Ameriko laced a pair of combat boots.

"Yes Lexi?" Erika asked. The torture trio where also sporting neon in black shirts, Insanity was busying herself by sticking turtle stickers to France's counter tops and expensive, one-of-a-kind cabinets.

"Non! Not ze cabinets!" France cried and Insanity giggled.

Ameriko snapped her fingers and teleported herself and the BTT to America. All the while the rest of Team Torture were still hanging out in the French kitchen. Insanity went around putting stickers all over the place while Lexi raided the fridge and Erika ate Prussia's chocolate

Yeah. That chocolate.

* * *

"America needs a new decorator, his house is so bland." Stated France. "Yeah, let's rock this prank and get out!... Awesomely!" Said Prussia.

They did the Charlie Brown thing. You know with the sheets and the eye holes. France and Prussia were perfect while Ameriko set up Special Effects. It consisted of gurgling noises, stomach growls and various Pokemon sound bits to create a scary background music mix.

Spain was making dental floss trip wires and placing them strategically around the house.

Dawn came slowly.

* * *

A rooster crowed outside and America rose sleepily from his bed. He was getting dressed when he heard something growling under his bed.

A very large dog thing leapt forward and attacked!

Wild THING appeared!

Go, AMERICA!

THING used GROWL!

It's super effective!

AMERICA used PEED MY PANTS!

It appears to do nothing.

ATTACK

}RUN

got away safely!

America ran screaming down the hallway.

Such a weenie.

The monster chased him quickly gaining ground. Metaphorically speaking of course, the floor is made of wood.

He tripped down the stairs when he thought he saw something that looked like a giant floating baby head around the corner. (Obvious P&F reference)

He quickly got to his feet and his in a nearby closet. Then he heard something (take the poochyena and charmander cries and mash them up) coming from behind him.

Omg mummy!

America leapt from the closet and ran screaming for about an hour before finding a McDonald's and calming down.

The team was ROLFing all over the American's dinning room and they were teleported back to France's once more.

Only to discover that the house was trashed. A pig was walking around lazily and turtle stickers and real turtles were everywhere. Their was obvious if signs if a break in on the pantry door and the only thing left was a small note which read,

"Thanks for the food, we played your Mario Kart.

-Erika, Insanity, and Lexi."

France sobbed as the others cleaned and Spain kept the turtles and the crazy dog from America's house.

He named her Churro.

* * *

Turtles! I stole churro from Ameriko because I wanted to and we're twins and stuffs.

Love it?

Hate it?

Review!

〜（ゝ。∂）英里何


	10. Ameriko-Chan guest chapter

BTT Chapter whatever

Hey-o! It's-a me! Ameriko! We-e-ell, I have a bit of writers block and want to get out of it so Tomboy (Erika) let me use her story since she doesn't want to abandon it! But here we go-o-o-o-o~!

I don't Hetalia, just the basic idea for this chapter.

* * *

The Bad Touch Trio were sitting around; it had been a few months since Erika sent them something to do and Spain almost missed the constant nagging and chores. Almost. He mostly missed the turtles that were always it tow with Insanity.

Spain suddenly heard someone singing with La's to preform Bad Apple. The Trio went to investigate the music to see a girl thigh high white boots (similar to the ones England forced Prussia into when he somehow turned him into a girl) an American bomber jacket, a graphic tee that read "Gears of War" on the front and shorts. Her hair was like Ameriko's but far too short and her eyes sparkled bright aqua blue.

She looked up from her Galaxy tablet and smiled; grinned actually. The trio nearly groaned "Who are you, ma cheri?" France groaned; she giggled "What? Ya don't recognize me? I know Tomboy made me out to be violent, but surely you remember me!" Spain shook his head "Sorry chica, we don't know you…" The girl frowned; then sighed.

Her expression shifted and she looked enraged "And don't hit America again!" She cried. France fainted and her expression returned back to normal. Or at least how it was before. "Get it now, it's me, Ameriko!" She laughed "I'm not as violent as Tommy likes to think, in fact; normally I'm quite agreeable."

She hopped off the counter and snapped her fingers. Or tried to. "What's wrong? I remember you being able to snap your fingers." Spain though was more worried about 'Where's Erika and why is her sister here?!' Ameriko frowned and glared at Prussia "I've been holding a pencil for the past hour non-stop! My hands are too sweaty!" Ameriko ran over to France and whipped her hands on France's designer shirt. France Le Gasped.

Ameriko then snapped her fingers with a smile. Flames danced across palm. "That's better." She beamed.

"Okay, this is your mission–"

France interrupted stupidly, "But who gave it to us? Normally there's more of you here, non?" Ameriko punched him in the shoulder and he flinched. "I assigned this, you jerk! Now, your mission is to get back at Iggy for the scones." Spain frowned "But the Love Letters did that."

Ameriko shrugged "Yeah, but I wanted to get back at him for you guys!" She thought and added "Oh and Erika almost abandoned you guys because no one was really sending you guys stuff to do."

Okay that made sense. But why. Couldn't. They. Let. Them. GO?! Why were they forced to do this shit?! Ameriko handed him a turtle. Spain immediately brightened "You're not you without turtles." She beamed. "But! Any who~ as you know, magic is obviously real—"

Prussia interrupted "What? Not it's not!" Ameriko glared at him "You're so lucky you're my favorite along with Spain and… screw it. I can't hate people from Hetalia. But magic is real and England has it. That's why he sees pixies and unicorns and stuff. But I'm gonna fix it so you guys see them too. But at the end of this mission, I've got to return you back to normal."

They were totally fine with that. They didn't need to be as insane as England forever. "Alrighty then! Let's get show on the road!" Ameriko snapped her fingers and suddenly visions of fairies and unicorns and a large flying rabbit with the colors of red and blue with white stars on it's rump. "Stars 'n' Stripe Bunny!" She cried with joy. Joy!

"Okay, we need to capture a fairy and wish for Iggy to grow taste buds, good luck!" She winked and disappeared.

Leaving the trio to search for a fairy. A fairy!

* * *

It was three and a half hours later before a fairy actually felt pity for them and let them catch her. And by catch, I mean sat on their shoulder and said "Hello!"

Spain scooped her up and yelled his wish "I wish England could actually taste how bad his cooking was!"

* * *

England was at home, munching on a scone. It was pretty good before the taste of couch stuffing wrapped in burnt leather and wood filled his mouth. With the after taste of brick and cement. England spat it out quickly "What the—?!" For the rest of the day, everything tasted… disgusting. Vile almost.

England was about ready to throw his fridge out the window if he could lift it!

The trio visited and England was in tears "The food… the food is disgusting…!" He sobbed. They just smirked and gave high-fives to one an other.

* * *

Ameriko sat around Spain's house petting her turtle like a villain strokes his cat in one of America's stupid movies "Muhahaha! Just kidding!" She laughed "Great job you guys, but sadly, I have to fix England so now he thinks he's been having a regular day. Oh well." She shrugged.

The trio had to admit, it wasn't up to their normal standards, but they weren't going to complain about it. But now they wondered, when's Erika coming back to change it back to torture and terrifying pranks?

* * *

Hey guys! It's me, well, I couldn't think of much but I gave it a shot! I have to admit it's not as funny as Tomboy's is, but hey, I tried, yeah?

Review your ideas! No PMs (that'a probably why no one is giving ideas!)!

Ameriko, out.


	11. For InsaneKeyblader

BTT

Thank WeirdCornChip AKA Lexi for the idea! We talked it over and the idea was born. I talked to InsanityAin'tOptional and got a funny plot twist.

* * *

Ameriko-Chan had barely left before Lexi fell out of the ceiling in a graceful swan dive. She bounced on the couch and spat feathers out of her mouth.

"Stupid magic, so hard to use." She muttered before turning to the countries. The Bad Touch Trio watched in horror as she pulled her crowbar from her large pocket. She muttered angrily and pulled a bottle of Vodka from her pocket, then some candy bar wrappers followed by a snack baggy full of loose change and bus tokens. She impossibly reached her entire arm in the pocket and finally pulled back another Ziplock bag, but this one was full of some kind of white powder.

"Privet comrades! I have another prank for you guys!" The tall girl called.

Spain stepped forward tentatively. "What is it?" He asked. "And where are all the turtles, there's usually turtles?"

Lexi waved him off. "The prank is easy, slip a gram of this powder into Germany's coffee tomorrow morning."

Prussia was (AWESOMELY!) shocked. "We're pranking West? Seriously? He'll make me clean or do unawesome chores if he finds out!" Prussia said putting his hand on his forehead as if he was already tired of chores.

Lexi smiled knowingly. "Trust me, he won't remember a thing."

"Can I leave this one to Spain and France?" Asked the Prussian nation.

The room went cold and dark purple as she began to kol menacingly. "No you may not."

She tossed them the baggy and attempted to poof away. After a few failures she screamed.

"A little help here!" She shouted at the ceiling. A very large manual fell into existence in the air directly above France and knocked him over.

"Someone get this thing off of me!" He cried and the Spaniard tried to pick it up, failed, and began to push it off the Frenchman.

Lexi picked up the book in one hand. She made a 'go away' gesture and said. "Go, now. Dawn will come soon."

"Gott she's right, West gets up at the butt crack of dawn! We gotta go!" Shouted Prussia as he grabbed his keys and started his totally awesome car. As the trio packed in to the car Lexi sat down at the table and began searching the table of continents. I mean contents.

As soon as the car was out of the driveway Insanity popped up on the counter, turtles in hand. "Hi Lexi!" She yelled. "Did you take the sugar I left in the break room? I can't find it anywhere."

Lexi looked at her. "Was it in a plastic bag?" Insanity nodded eagerly. "I think I gave it to Spain as part of the prank."

* * *

"We just need a few grams. Nothing more." Said France.

"What does this stuff even do?" Questioned Prussia.

Spain shrugged. "We should have asked."

Prussia was carefully and awesomely putting some drug (coughsugarcough). Into Germany's coffee pot.

"It's so quiet. So peaceful." Said France.

"Sí, I rarely get to see sunrises this beautiful at my place." Said Spain.

Suddenly a loud "PYO" made the BTT jump. Prussia dropped the bag in the coffee. He swore under his breath. A small bird flew around Prussia's head.

Just as Prussia grabbed the open bag, footsteps were heard on the stairs. France quickly hid in an large empty cabinet. Prussia and the bag hid behind the couch in the living room and Spain hid under the table.

* * *

The barely alert Germany entered the kitchen. No matter how much he tried to deny it, Germany was not a morning person. He grabbed the coffee pot and a mug from the cabinet right above it.

He poured a cup and drank the extremely sweet coffee. He checked the label on the coffee tin.

Stupid new coffee brand. Much too sweet.

Not one to waste caffeine he finished the cup and went to get dressed. The trio came out of hiding and met at the kitchen table.

"This is so un-Awesome!" Said Prussia holding out his empty and coffee coated plastic bag.

"Oh my. You spilled all of it in the pot?" Said France horrified.

"I got scared and dropped it, okay." Prussia admitted. "Who knows what that stuff will do to West's mind."

Germany, who had realized he had put his clothes in the dryer had heard that exact conversation. As if the drugs in his system suddenly realized where they were, he felt like his world exploded he was suddenly really hyper, and happy, and usually really stupid ideas seemed amazing.

* * *

When the trio found Germany he had covered the grand dining room wall with stick figures in finger paint. He was drawing pictures of America and Russia eating German pastries with Iran.

"Um. West, are you okay?" Prussia asked. "PONIES!"shouted the German nation.

The doorbell rang and France went to answer it. "It's Italy should I let him in?" Asked France.

Prussia couldn't answer because he was too busy staring at Germany, who was now having a tantrum because Spain had taken the finger paint.

Germany ran into another room screaming about magical unicorns with wings.

Prussia fell to his knees. "What have we done! Does this mean I have to get a job!"

"No amigo. It should wear off." Said Spain.

"Vee~ Germany! Was that you?" Said Italy coming in the room with France trailing behind.

"Prussia where did Germany go?" Asked France. Prussia just pointed to the kitchen.

Italy raced in. "Good morning Germany! Vee~~!" Italy ran back in crying. "Big brother France! What-a happened to Germany?!"

France looked baffled. "What happened in there?" The other two shrugged.

Germany came back covered in purple and green paint. His two dogs following. One was covered in purple paint and had an ice cream cone tied to its head and the other was powder blue with wings painted on and a rainbow streak down it's back.

Prussia stared for a second. "What the -" he started.

"My Little Ponies!" Shouted Italy in horror. "Their so cute but, this is scary!" The rest of the BTT nodded.

"West, what are you doing?" Prussia asked. "Cause I really don't want to be the mature one here."

"PONYZ!" Shouted the German.

Suddenly Erika appeared with her entire gang. Insanity had a whole mess load of turtles, she gave one to Spain, France, and Italy.

Lexi looked at Germany. "Calm down comrade. Your under the affects of Placebo."

"Yeah!" Shouted Insanity. "You guys got my sugar instead!"

Ameriko-chan jumped in. "Yep, it's all in your,~"

They all joined in and pulled a Sponge Bob, "IMAGINATION~"

"What?" Said Germany confused. "But they said they drugged my coffee." He pointed at the European nations.

Lexi shifted. "Erika gave me a bag of sugar from the break room which I gave to Spain as part of the prank."

Erika laughed. "And I planed the whole thing! I'd make a joke about it being passed down in the Armstrong family for generations but that's not my last name!"

"You better not tell them our last name." Said Ameriko-chan menacingly while the flowers of moe surrounded her. The moe was strong with this one.

"Yeah, I'm going to change. And then clean up this mess." Said Germany.

Italy was playing with a bright yellow chick when Germany had changed into normal clothes. They sat in the living room conversing about all the crazy things he had done. Germany was cleaning.

"MIB time girls!" Announced Erika pulling out what appeared to be a black pen. The team all pulled out a pair of sunglasses, all on different levels of gaudiness, with Erika's extremely horrible pair to Lexi's simple black, to Insanity's 3D glasses. The Bad Touch Trio where handed simple black ones like Lexi's.

Italy looked at the device in Erika's hand along with Germany. She hit a button and it flashed brightly. Everyone removed their glasses. Insanity began giggling about how everything was better in 3D.

"Well that's that! Goodbye." Said Erika, who clapped and caused the entire team to vanish, and leaving the trio confused on what would happen next.

* * *

Enjoy! Review! Give ideas! Don't be shy!

-Tomboy


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